The Weekend “Baker”

27 Oct

I have literally done nothing but bake this weekend.

And I misuse “literally” here. I did sleep, I did go to work, and I did go to the store once or twice, but most of my time was spent in my pathetic little “kitchen.” (And I misuse “kitchen” here. It is, in fact, a closet with a sink.)

Friday night Dylan worked until 11, and I was off, so I decided to make him these Chocolate Orange Brownies with Ginger Chocolate Frosting. Truly, I am an angel, because for some freak reason, I loathe chocolate. I can’t even tolerate the scent (which is why the windows were open all night). I pulled them out of the oven early because it was starting to crack pretty badly, and then as I was frosting it all caved in. But that’s all right; it’s chocolate,

who cares?

Clearly, Dylan did not appreciate the brownies either, because he went to the store and bought Oreos. But he did claim to like them.

After work Saturday, I made these Pumpkin Whoopie Pies. This was quite the experience. I’m so lost in the kitchen, I didn’t even know what piping was. So when the recipe called for piped pumpkin cookies, I drew squiggled drizzles on parchment paper for two hours and lamented when they didn’t turn out like the picture. Thankfully, with a little bit of batter left, I figured out what I was supposed to do from the beginning. They were delicious, though, so when I make them again, they will be pretty.

THEY WILL BE PRETTY.

Clearly, this was one of the last pies. You can see the reject cookies in the background. They were not deserving of a photograph. Both the cookies and I would be too embarrassed. :(

As for tonight… well… I invented:

Puke Pies.

I had big plans for this puppy. This was my third attempt at lemon bars, but this recipe from Tate’s Bake Shop Cookbook failed me too. It came out of the oven smelling like dog hair. If that didn’t turn me off, the nasty color sure did.

Ever the brave soul, Dylan did take a bite of this. He said the lemon filling was okay, but the crust was disgusting. How rude. I mean, he could have at least lied!

The plan was to bake the lemon squares into cupcakes, a la Bake It in a Cake. But since the squares were vomit-inducing on smell alone, that idea was scrapped, and these beautiful babies were born: 

I used Martha Stewart’s Blueberry Cupcake recipe (minus blueberries, of course) and this frosting recipe from Pioneer Woman. They tasted really good, but it wouldn’t have mattered, because

they are just so cute!

I made about 20 cupcakes too many (remember, it’s just me and Dylan eating these sweets) so I put some on a plate to deliver to our stupid RA (because I am nice to people, no matter how moronic I think they are). She wasn’t in her apartment, but as I was knocking on the door, cupcakes in hand, some strange man walked up and asked what I was doing. Uh, *obviously* I am delivering cupcakes. I guess he’s an RA in another building, and he said she was working the front desk in another dorm, and he would deliver them to her. And then he attempted to make small talk, for like, thirty seconds. And it was as awkward as it sounds.

I just really hope I get that plate back.

One Response to “The Weekend “Baker””

  1. Dylan Mason October 28, 2010 at 2:54 pm #

    MMMMMHMMMMM

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